Processed with VSCO with a6 presetDate started: November 30, 2016

Date ended: December 8, 2016 

Stars: ★★★★★

“He was a book, and he was holding his final pages, and he wanted to get to the end to find out how it went, and he didn’t want it to be over.”

I feel this quote sums up everything I feel about The Raven King and The Raven Cycle.

I literally can’t handle the feels right now, I’m crying at work. Thank God I can hide in my cubical.  I can’t believe it’s all over … It happened too fast. This book destroyed me. I am complete and yet, utterly undone. I feel as if a part of me has been ripped from my being. I have decided that I am naming my sons, Gansey and Ronan.

I held such a high expectation when I started this book and I was worried that it wouldn’t measure up, but it surpassed my expectations ten-fold. I don’t think there will be a series quite like this. The mystery, the friendship, the magic, the characters, and the love. I think the last time I was this emotionally drained after a series was Harry Potter. I think the best way I can communicate my feelings is through the author’s own words:

“At the end of the Raven Cycle, I want readers … to want. I don’t want them to be able to say what it is they want, though — I want it to be a bigger thing than words. I hope they get to the end and don’t know what to do for the rest of the day. I hope they feel unsettled and needing of something more. I want messages that say, ‘Stiefvater, please, I just want…’ and then silence. They don’t know what they want. They just want.”

I want.

But words can’t describe what I feel or what I want. I’m sad it’s over but at the same time, I’m content with how the series ended. The only thing I wish is I wish everyone had been together. I promise that’s not a spoiler but deep down inside, I’m sad that didn’t happen.

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The characters developed into so much more than how they started. Their friendships, the new and the old, are unbreakable. Though they were on a quest to find Glendower, in the end, they gained so much more.

I want to curl into my bed and cry. I want to get in my car and drive to Henrietta, it can’t be too far away from where I am. I want to see all of my friends, alive and happy. But, the series is over. The book has been closed. Tears are shed. I think the only thing I can do to remedy this is to start the series over again … and againand again.

The most ironic thing I think I learned about myself through the process of reading this book is after the first book and the second, I was still not convinced I liked this story. Sure, I loved the characters, but I felt as if the plot itself was lacking. Yet, here I am, a puddle on the floor of my office building after two more books, and I feel as if the world will never be the same.

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